Dads

A concise summary and a simple checklist – Written by dads for dads

Before the pregnancy

Good semen works better! Sounds logical of course and as a man you can improve the quality of your semen by:

Do not smoke, use drugs or drink alcohol. – Ensure that your balls do not get too hot by visiting the sauna or wearing tight underwear. – Empty your ball sack regularly. Two or three ejaculations per week are recommended. – Avoid chemical agents such as lead, pesticides and paint. – Take possible use of medication into account. First check with your pharmacy if a medicine can influence the quality of your semen.

During the pregnancy

Acknowledgement. If you are not married and no acknowledgement has been arranged, your child will not automatically go to you when something happens to the mother.

Although the child does not grow inside your belly, you can already build a relationship with the child from the time of conception by going to all the appointments with the midwife. You do not automatically get time off for these appointments, but often this is possible in consultation with your employer, so make it negotiable.
Tensions may occur during the entire period. Try to take time for each other towards the end of the pregnancy, for example by going away for a weekend. Just before the birth and in the period afterwards there will be little time for it.

After the birth the daily routine is a thing of the past, your child determines the schedule, despite busy calendars. Think in advance about babysitting or childcare and support of (in-laws) parents with general things can sometimes be very helpful, don’t hesitate to ask.

Many men turn out not to be such a cool guy as they had thought in advance. Nothing wrong with that of course but you can also prepare yourself by going to a pregnancy course / information session with your partner.

The last mile is the longest. Do not plan unnecessary appointments in the run-up to the birth so that you can be there for your partner when she is struggling. She will certainly be unreasonable, but you should know that this is never personal and that it may change a moment later already. Of course, this also applies to the period after the birth, it is a huge reassurance for your partner that you are present and available for her and the baby.

Also important to know:
Pregnancy dementia really exists. – You can have sex during the pregnancy. – Sometimes it is better not to try and be right! Your partner can sometimes be (very) unreasonable for no reason. This usually passes again so just don’t take it seriously and it will not escalate.

Birth

Discuss your plan in time for the delivery. What you want but more importantly, what you don’t want. Also take into account unexpected scenarios such as giving birth in the hospital. You do all this by drawing up a delivery plan. This plan provides clarity and therefore less stress.

Being on your phone during delivery is of course not the intention but the use of a contraction app is highly recommended. With this you can easily keep up with the frequencies of the weeping.

• Route to the hospital. Make sure you know the route to both ZGT and MST and that you know where to park. There are wheelchairs ready, they require a 2 euro coin.

TIP: note the speed camera towards ZGT! The baby doesn’t just come out so you can just keep up with the speed limits.

• Men’s escape case. If you go to the hospital it may take a while before the baby is born. Take some snacks, magazines, book, IPad or laptop with you. It may be nice to clear your head with a Netflix series so that when it really happens, you can be completely there again for your girlfriend. Don’t forget the chargers…
• Have a cold beer ready

Baby

All beginnings are difficult and it will certainly be awkward. Know that the maternity nurse can explain everything to you, make use of it because before you know it she will no longer be there.

Try to catch up on sleep when possible. The broken nights will be hard so if you have the time to sleep you should definitely do that.

Sometimes it can also work well to change the care of the baby (for example at night) so that the other can refuel. When you are an easy sleeper, it is sometimes more convenient to do the night feeding more often so that your partner can rest.